NOTE: This story was written based on an EA SPORTS FIFA 20 simulation of the New England Revolution vs. FC Cincinnati match originally scheduled for Saturday, April 11. It includes made-up quotes, and recounts events that occurred exclusively in FIFA 20. You can watch the full highlights HERE.
FAKESBOROUGH, Mass. – Adam Buksa can’t stop scoring … in FIFA 20.
The New England Revolution’s new No. 9 bagged two more goals in Saturday night’s simulation at Gillette Stadium, helping the Revs claim a 3-1 win over FC Cincinnati and close out a perfect three-game, weeklong homestand following previous wins over the Colorado Rapids and Seattle Sounders FC.
Buksa now has six goals in five EA SPORTS FIFA 20 simulations, to go along with, you know, the goal he actually scored in real life against Chicago Fire FC in the Revs’ last match on March 7.
“I’m happy that I’m getting into a rhythm, and it’s always nice to score goals that win games,” Buksa would’ve said, because he’s a team-first player. “It was fitting that both of my goals tonight were headers, because that’s realistic. For some reason I’ve always been right-footed in FIFA, so I’d been scoring a ton of right-footed goals. I’ve never understood why.”
Buksa’s first goal arrived in first-half stoppage time when he powered home Brandon Bye’s right-wing cross, while his second came shortly after the break when he buried a near-post header on a corner from Gustavo Bou, who had opened the scoring with a goal of his own in the 34th minute.
That not only gave the Revolution a 3-0 lead, but also nine of their 15 simulated goals scored by the Designated Player trio of Buksa (6), Bou (2) and Carles Gil (1).
“We’ve invested a lot of money on these players in real life, so it’s great to see that it’s paying off in these FIFA simulations,” head coach Bruce Arena is probably thinking. “Everyone knows that professional clubs make most of their signings based on FIFA ratings, so it makes perfect sense.”
Cincinnati, which secured a consolation goal through Jurgen Locadia at the hour mark, thought they’d taken the lead in the 27th minute only to see Joe Gyau’s apparent goal ruled out for offside. Allan Cruz also thought he’d broken through in the 41st minute, but again the flag was up for offside.
“They were both clearly offside,” rookie Henry Kessler would’ve said of the negated goals. “If either of those goals had been allowed to stand, it might’ve been cause for a rage quit, because at that point it would’ve been clear that the computer just wanted us to lose. FIFA does that sometimes.”
With nine points secured from their three-game homestand the Revs will now return to the road for next weekend’s visit to the New York Red Bulls.
“Normally we’d be looking forward to hundreds of supporters joining us down at Red Bull Arena to sing for 90 minutes, and one day we’ll get to do that again,” said every single Revolution player. “But for now we just need you stay home, and stay safe. We’ll do the same.”